If I Were Bold And Beautiful

I have decided I ship these two together now. Maya is too good...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:59:12 +1000

I have decided I ship these two together now. Maya is too good for Rick and Oliver is awesome.

I give you… Olivaya.

So Katie is really, really worried about Brooke and Bill. And I...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:50:00 +1000

So Katie is really, really worried about Brooke and Bill. And I would be too, if I’d caught them rolling around on a bed together drinking champagne. And yet they’re both gaslighting the shit out of Katie, which is really not okay.

If I was writing Bold, this is what I would do.

- Katie would think to herself, “hmmm, who do I know that exerts otherworldly influence over Bill and can bend him to her will? Who will also fight Brooke to the death given the slightest opportunity?”

- OH RIGHT STEFFY.

- Katie and Steffy would team up, even though they don’t especially like each other. They could bond over having Spencer babies or some shit, I don’t care.

- Bill would remember how much he OH YEAH HATES BROOKE AND HOPE AND ALL THOSE FOLKS, and how much he wanted to bang Steffy.

- Katie’s plan backfires somewhat.

- We get a new, better love triangle, with fun Forrester/Logan rivalry, and the added complication of the fact that Steffy is preggers with Bill’s grandchild.

Right? Right.

BOLD YOU NEED ME.

"Pam: Brooke is a little long in the tooth to be parading around in her underwear. Donna: What in..."

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 13:20:29 +1000

“

Pam: Brooke is a little long in the tooth to be parading around in her underwear.

Donna: What in the world do Brooke’s teeth have to do with anything? Besides, have you seen them? They’re gorgeous!

”

- Bless. I have trouble believing anyone is actually this dumb, but bless nonetheless.

Story idea: it is discovered that Caroline was actually replaced...

Fri, 14 Jun 2013 13:05:35 +1000

Story idea: it is discovered that Caroline was actually replaced when she was in hospital after Bill threw her off the balcony by her evil twin.

The real Caroline comes back and smacks down this irritating facsimile.

And maybe the real Dayzee comes back and does that to her evil twin too.

(Seriously, Bold? You take two street-smart, socially conscious female characters and turn them into vapid parodies of themselves? For shame.)

So Hope has had some pretty ridiculous reactions to shit in her...

Fri, 07 Jun 2013 16:57:40 +1000

So Hope has had some pretty ridiculous reactions to shit in her tenure on Bold, but asking Steffy to leave Forrester Creations really takes the cake. If you hate Steffy so much, YOU leave, Hope.

Also, the writers really seem to have forgotten that Steffy and Hope were raised as sisters. Their relationship should be a whole lot more interesting and complex than it actually is.

So Bill’s all, “I know what’s a good idea!...

Tue, 04 Jun 2013 16:53:56 +1000

So Bill’s all, “I know what’s a good idea! Let’s bring back Brooke’s Bedroom!”

And then he and Brooke plot a relaunch… on the same day as they’ve had this idea. However, it seems like he’s forgotten one key thing about the fashion business: YOU HAVE TO DESIGN THE CLOTHES FIRST.

Clearly there is some kind of magical fashion wizard designing this - the same one who designed Hope’s bridal line in 24 hours - but if I were writing this, this is what I would do.

- Brooke wants to relaunch Brooke’s Bedroom - today.

- But Brooke has no lingerie!

- Brooke steals upcoming samples from Steffy’s Intimates line.

- Steffy is enraged at this blatant fashion plagiarism.

- And OH HEY hasn’t Forrester Creations taken on a brilliant new patents lawyer?

- Steffy and Carter team up to fight Brooke. And also they fall in love.

Bold. You need me.

Sometimes they get stupidly overwritten, but hot damn, that...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:52:39 +1000

Sometimes they get stupidly overwritten, but hot damn, that whole frenemy thing Pam and Donna have going on is one of my favourite things about Bold.

Did you know that falling off a balcony can turn you into a...

Mon, 03 Jun 2013 14:24:42 +1000

Did you know that falling off a balcony can turn you into a cartoon super villain? Because that seems to be exactly what’s happened to Caroline Spencer…

So Brooke has discovered that it is on like Donkey Kong with...

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:12:14 +1000

So Brooke has discovered that it is on like Donkey Kong with Eric and Taylor, just hours after Liam chose Steffy over Hope. Brooke is pissed the fuck off - with Taylor, with Steffy, with the whole damn clan.

If I were writing Bold (which we all know I should be - seriously, guys, call me), this is what would happen.

- Brooke, shat off with Taylor and her kids, considers how to best fuck them over.

- Brooke is also trying to deal with a strange attraction to Bill which she cannot shake.

- Obvious solution?

- Brooke should try to revenge-seduce Liam. It will mean that Bill becomes a total non-option for her. There’d be an element of self-sacrifice there, sacrificing her own desires for her sister’s happiness. Brooke is not averse to this kind of self-sacrifice, as we saw when she pretended Whip was Hope’s father to protect Bridget from the truth about Deacon.

- Would there be any better way to hack Steffy and Taylor right off than to go after the father of Steffy’s baby? She thinks Taylor is seducing an inappropriate man - Brooke is showing that anything Taylor can do, she can do better.

- It would also create some super interesting conflict with Hope - I feel like there should be much more tension between mother and daughter here than there actually is.

- And it would mean that Brooke had a clean sweep on getting it on with her daughters’ most significant significant others: Deacon, Nick, Oliver, and Liam.

Plus, the whole thing would be hysterically inappropriate - and isn’t that what Brooke is all about?

BOLD YOU NEED ME.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WANTS LIAM WHEN OLIVER IS RUNNING...

Tue, 21 May 2013 17:01:15 +1000

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY ANYONE WANTS LIAM WHEN OLIVER IS RUNNING AROUND ALL SINGLE AND ADORABLE

Hunter Tylo, Star of 'Bold & The Beautiful,' Leaving CBS Soap Opera

Sat, 18 May 2013 13:15:31 +1000

Hunter Tylo, Star of 'Bold & The Beautiful,' Leaving CBS Soap Opera :

Hunter Tylo announced on Twitter and Facebook that she is leaving the soap opera

It looks like Taylor is leaving Bold. And maybe Steffy as well. MY EMOTIONS.

How has it never occurred to me that all three of the triangle...

Thu, 16 May 2013 16:54:35 +1000

How has it never occurred to me that all three of the triangle of death have daddy issues? I mean, I’d twigged it for each of them individually, but not as a group, you know?

If they really are committed to this triangle (and God, they shouldn’t be, they should kill it) they should send them all to group therapy together. That would be LOL-tastic.

Hope and Liam have had four not-weddings. FOUR. Hope, like her...

Tue, 14 May 2013 16:46:59 +1000

Hope and Liam have had four not-weddings.

FOUR.

Hope, like her mother before her, craps on about “destiny” all the time. You’d think that if you’d been a bride FOUR TIMES and yet never managed to get legally married, you’d be taking that as some kind of sign.

I wish Liam HAD flash-married Hope and then, for some convoluted...

Mon, 13 May 2013 16:56:43 +1000

I wish Liam HAD flash-married Hope and then, for some convoluted reason, Steffy had had to pretend the baby was Oliver’s or something.

And then she’d realise that actually Oliver is fully excellent and that biological father or no, he’s the baby’s real daddy and Liam and Hope get to be dull and miserable somewhere else. (It would have been kind of a cool mirror to when Taylor was preggers with Thomas and pretended he was Thorne’s, but with a different - better - ending.)

Right? Right.

All you have to do to marry Liam is have a white dress and a...

Fri, 10 May 2013 16:57:31 +1000

All you have to do to marry Liam is have a white dress and a celebrant handy.

Literally. That’s all it takes. Proven multiple times. With multiple women.

So even if Liam and Hope do manage to get flash married before...

Fri, 10 May 2013 16:43:13 +1000

So even if Liam and Hope do manage to get flash married before Steffy charges in on a horse or a motorbike or a helicopter or something, will it be legal?

I’m going with probably not, considering this is a wedding organised by Brooke Logan, she who forgot to check the legality of Liam and Hope getting married in Puglia and blithely said that she and Ridge would deal with the paperwork once they got back from that final wedding of hers.

So, yeah. This will be, what, Hope and Liam’s fourth not-wedding?

If the Liam/Hope flash wedding follows the narrative of the 1992...

Thu, 09 May 2013 17:12:53 +1000

If the Liam/Hope flash wedding follows the narrative of the 1992 Ridge/Taylor one, Mrs Hope Spencer becomes a thing and Steffy is left out in the cold.

But the other way the flash wedding could go is like this: another Ridge/Taylor wedding, this time from 2009. The two are on the verge of tying the knot, when in Brooke ridges on a fucking stallion (foreshadowing for when she rides another fucking stallion, eh, $Bill?) giving us the classic line, “I now pronounce you man and… HORSE?!”

Having Taylor’s daughter pull the man-and-horse trick on Brooke’s daughter sure would be sweet revenge…

So Brooke has set up a flash wedding for Hope and Liam, and...

Thu, 09 May 2013 17:08:27 +1000

So Brooke has set up a flash wedding for Hope and Liam, and because they are both easily led morons, I’m assuming they’re both going to go along with.

Meanwhile, pregnant Steffy has found out (from Madison, a recurring character who deserves more screen time if she’s going to pull awesome stunts like this) that the flash wedding is on, and is racing to get there in time to stop it.

The way I see it, there are two ways this can go down - ie. two weddings from Bold past this could turn into. (Interestingly, in both these weddings, the role of Brooke is played by Steffy and the role of Taylor by Hope.)

The first is this one, Ridge and Taylor’s first wedding. Brooke has just discovered she is pregnant with Bridget, and she thinks the baby is Ridge’s (the reveal that it’s Eric’s doesn’t come till much later). She is racing to get to the church in time so she can stop the wedding, and…

…doesn’t quite make it.

Is this what will happen to Steffy Forrester?

So Brooke is organising a flash-wedding for Hope and Liam at the...

Wed, 08 May 2013 17:02:00 +1000

So Brooke is organising a flash-wedding for Hope and Liam at the cliff house. Without, you know, asking either Hope or Liam about it.

In my ideal world, this would lead to a wacky series of farcical shenanigans in which Hope flash-married Oliver, Steffy flash-married Carter, and Rick and Thomas pushed Liam over the cliff… and then flash-married each other.

I don’t think I’m alone in hoping that Carter...

Tue, 07 May 2013 16:44:43 +1000

I don’t think I’m alone in hoping that Carter suddenly develops a rare and unusual allergy to shirts.