So Brooke has discovered that it is on like Donkey Kong with Eric and Taylor, just hours after Liam chose Steffy over Hope. Brooke is pissed the fuck off - with Taylor, with Steffy, with the whole damn clan.
If I were writing Bold (which we all know I should be - seriously, guys, call me), this is what would happen.
- Brooke, shat off with Taylor and her kids, considers how to best fuck them over.
- Brooke is also trying to deal with a strange attraction to Bill which she cannot shake.
- Obvious solution?
- Brooke should try to revenge-seduce Liam. It will mean that Bill becomes a total non-option for her. There’d be an element of self-sacrifice there, sacrificing her own desires for her sister’s happiness. Brooke is not averse to this kind of self-sacrifice, as we saw when she pretended Whip was Hope’s father to protect Bridget from the truth about Deacon.
- Would there be any better way to hack Steffy and Taylor right off than to go after the father of Steffy’s baby? She thinks Taylor is seducing an inappropriate man - Brooke is showing that anything Taylor can do, she can do better.
- It would also create some super interesting conflict with Hope - I feel like there should be much more tension between mother and daughter here than there actually is.
- And it would mean that Brooke had a clean sweep on getting it on with her daughters’ most significant significant others: Deacon, Nick, Oliver, and Liam.
Plus, the whole thing would be hysterically inappropriate - and isn’t that what Brooke is all about?
Hope, like her mother before her, craps on about “destiny” all the time. You’d think that if you’d been a bride FOUR TIMES and yet never managed to get legally married, you’d be taking that as some kind of sign.
I wish Liam HAD flash-married Hope and then, for some convoluted reason, Steffy had had to pretend the baby was Oliver’s or something.
And then she’d realise that actually Oliver is fully excellent and that biological father or no, he’s the baby’s real daddy and Liam and Hope get to be dull and miserable somewhere else. (It would have been kind of a cool mirror to when Taylor was preggers with Thomas and pretended he was Thorne’s, but with a different - better - ending.)
So even if Liam and Hope do manage to get flash married before Steffy charges in on a horse or a motorbike or a helicopter or something, will it be legal?
I’m going with probably not, considering this is a wedding organised by Brooke Logan, she who forgot to check the legality of Liam and Hope getting married in Puglia and blithely said that she and Ridge would deal with the paperwork once they got back from that final wedding of hers.
So, yeah. This will be, what, Hope and Liam’s fourth not-wedding?
If the Liam/Hope flash wedding follows the narrative of the 1992 Ridge/Taylor one, Mrs Hope Spencer becomes a thing and Steffy is left out in the cold.
But the other way the flash wedding could go is like this: another Ridge/Taylor wedding, this time from 2009. The two are on the verge of tying the knot, when in Brooke ridges on a fucking stallion (foreshadowing for when she rides another fucking stallion, eh, $Bill?) giving us the classic line, “I now pronounce you man and… HORSE?!”
Having Taylor’s daughter pull the man-and-horse trick on Brooke’s daughter sure would be sweet revenge…
So Brooke has set up a flash wedding for Hope and Liam, and because they are both easily led morons, I’m assuming they’re both going to go along with.
Meanwhile, pregnant Steffy has found out (from Madison, a recurring character who deserves more screen time if she’s going to pull awesome stunts like this) that the flash wedding is on, and is racing to get there in time to stop it.
The way I see it, there are two ways this can go down - ie. two weddings from Bold past this could turn into. (Interestingly, in both these weddings, the role of Brooke is played by Steffy and the role of Taylor by Hope.)
The first is this one, Ridge and Taylor’s first wedding. Brooke has just discovered she is pregnant with Bridget, and she thinks the baby is Ridge’s (the reveal that it’s Eric’s doesn’t come till much later). She is racing to get to the church in time so she can stop the wedding, and…
Jodi is a PhD student who works on gender, romance, and pop culture. She is also a playwright and a theatre critic. She loves Bold and the Beautiful very, very deeply (and only a little bit ironically).